All posts tagged failure

So I guess this was pretty unexpected. It’s not exactly how I planned to start 2012, anyways. Here’s the story.

In January 2011, it became necessary for us to grow quickly. We started out as a two person design & dev shop and, despite an impressive portfolio, we just weren’t making money. We made some hires (two designers and a new developer) and pivoted our business model. What was once a website design firm for bands became a UI/UX, Branding, and Software Development firm building web and mobile apps for startups. Quite a big leap.

I had built a very talented team around myself, and I knew we were up to the challenge. As a solo designer (the so-called “creative director”) I did fantastically well. I knew what needed to get done and what every deadline was. If I had a question, it was easy to contact the client with no middleman. Introducing a staff changed everything. Designers needed guidance and leadership. Every question, every revision, every deadline flowed through me. I had all of the accountability and quadruple the responsibility.

Anyone in a management position is probably rolling their eyes right now. Kudos to you folks… I had no idea how hard your job is, and the consequences when things go catastrophically wrong. Now I know.

Managing developers on exponentially more complex projects was even worse. Early in 2011 all of our developers were contractors – we didn’t have the financial stability to hire just yet. I trusted the most pivotal part of my company’s growth to outside workers, and it ended up destroying my company. I posted my blog post about Tony Hsieh at Zappos a few months after I learned this lesson, and I’ll say it again here:

Don’t outsource your core competency!

The developers were unreliable. They didn’t care about my company, my client, or their deadlines. They cut corners, made excuses, and lied. A week before a huge deadline, I was informed that no significant work had actually been done despite weeks of updates.

I sat down in a coffee shop with said client, and I remember the moment clear as crystal. I felt horrible. I was shaking. I had royally fucked up, and it was all my fault. Months of waiting, thousands of dollars, marketing dollars spent. No product. All we had to show for hours spent doing UI and UX and thousands spent on office space was a few photoshop mockups of what the product should look like. I told them this with their mouths agape. Was this really happening?

I promised to fix the problem, and told them it would be complete in under one month. All things considered, it was a seemingly impossible feat. I made a promise based on a gamble that the speedy developers I had in mind were actually available for work right now.

They were.

Unfortunately, I spent the whole project budget on their services. That’s money that was supposed to fund my work, the other designer’s work, branding design, front-end development, office space, our lawyer, and our accountant. All of that money now came directly out of my pocket to pay everyone who had worked so hard. It was devastating, but we weren’t ruined. We still had one other huge project that was certain to be our saving grace.

That other project was massive, and there was enough money in it to squeeze through. Not only would I be able to pay myself back, but still manage to pay everyone else. It was perfect. But then the unthinkable happened.

The same goddamned thing.

Different developer, different project, different platform, but same exact problem. Lies, delays, miscommunications, and no product on the due date. Different coffee shop, different client, same conversation. My mind was spinning out of control. What the hell am I going to do? How can I recover from this? It was at this point I started chronically losing sleep. Paranoia, stress, and frustration became baseline for me. It stayed like this for a month.

Fortunately, I was able to find another developer relatively quickly. He promised quick, professional delivery AND could start right away. He also had a portfolio of previous work. The client and I agreed he was the right choice.

Yeah, we had problems with him too. The deadline was pushed by months. Tons of money lost. All my fault.

It’s at this stage I felt completely defeated as an entrepreneur and leader. I failed horribly. This would be my second failed startup in less than two years. This time was different, though. I had disappointed my clients, my staff, and myself. Lots of real money was on the line, and everything that could have possibly gone wrong went wrong. I had to do something drastic before the townsfolk came after me with pitchforks and torches.

A New Page?

I chose to ditch the software development side of Bionic Hippo entirely. I’m a designer, and I do damn good work. My colleagues do damn good work too. In the waning months of 2011, we became a design-only consultancy. We had no clients because everything had screeched to a halt from before. We were still cleaning up our mess, but we had a plan. Out of nowhere, A Boston Startup Accelerator invited us to do a residency during the January – May session, and two HUGE new potential clients came forward. They wanted only UI and UX design. it couldn’t have been more perfect! Office space, publicity, money, and unlimited access to our target market. All of which came at little to no monetary cost – something that had become a critical issue. We had only about a thousand dollars in the bank, which can hardly buy anything for a 5-person team of consultants.

Talks with the Accelerator were laborious, but we ended up with a great deal. In exchange for mentorship, events, presentations, and some work, we were offered free office space and access to their extensive network. We were going to push “Design as a Core Competency” and the growing trend of “Creative Co-Founders”. I talked to designers from Facebook, Zaarly, Square, Zerply, FictiveKin, 500startups, and The Designer Fund (among many others). I flew across the country to San Francisco to gain a wider perspective on the matter. It was going to be incredible.

I asked my lawyer to draft documents granting equity to my founding partners. We were going to be a real company, and everyone was going to take part in our success. That set us back almost half of our remaining savings, but it was ok, right? Gotta spend money to make money.

By the time I got back from SF, we had been waiting about two months to get the final green light from the Accelerator. They promised an answer on the date that coincided with my return from the west coast.

Nothing.

More prodding… nothing. “We’ll talk in January” they said. I couldn’t wait until January. I knew it just wasn’t gonna happen. We’d run out of money before then. They didn’t know that because I was too proud to tell them.

Fortunately, I heard back from one of our huge prospective clients. All was not lost!

They they said they chose someone else. All was lost.

I made an executive decision. We had no money, no work, no office space, and a tarnished reputation. We were all exhausted. I was responsible for not only providing for myself, but providing for four other people. It was going to be impossible, and I couldn’t ask my team to make that kind of sacrifice, especially right out of college. Instead of running face first into the ground, I decided to wave the white flag. We were beaten, and it was time to gracefully move on to bigger and better things. I’m incredibly thankful that we ended when we did… we have just enough money to pay everyone with some scraps left over. I don’t know what I would’ve done if we had gone bankrupt. I hope that’s a lesson I’ll never have to learn.

I’m also fortunate that everything ended on a relatively good note. As a team we went through hell together, and the abrupt end didn’t come as too much of a shock to anyone. We’re all still BFFLs and helping each other out whenever possible. That makes me really happy.

Moving On

I’m now seeking employment at some exciting startup that understands why design is so important for startups, their products, and their users (and, most importantly, hiring designers). I learned so much about design and now I want to apply that knowledge. I’ve learned a lot about management and teamwork, too. I’m hoping to move to San Francisco — It’s going to be a huge change for me, but I think it’ll be worth it. I still have a lot to learn, and I need experience working with smarter, more talented designers. It can only make me better, and it’ll give me the opportunity to make different mistakes.

I’m not done being an entrepreneur… I never will be. It’s in my DNA. I can’t see myself not working in or around startups right now, and I’m definitely going to be a founder again someday.

We’ll see where this road takes me.